Ulcer Rating Scale: Crisis Communications Satire Health Effects

Introducing The EO Report’s “Ulcer Rating Scale” to measure the intensity of a crisis communications situation and its corresponding health effects upon a strategic communicator:

• 1: Barely a Blip

• 2: Mild Indigestion

• 3: Stress Attack

• 4: Pre-Ulcer Pangs

• 5: Full-Blown Ulcer Alert

• It’s hard to read this doozy from the Rogers Report at Golf.com and not feel empathy for the people on the Waste Management Phoenix Open golf tournament communications team.

  • “Gates closed, alcohol sales suspended amid chaos at WM Phoenix Open“  (Hat tip: Eagle eye Denise Hazelrigg)

  • Foreshadowing for what was to come: “The 9 best one-liners overheard at the WM Phoenix Open”

    • Teaser: “This is my first time out of the house in like three weeks. I can’t be stopped today.”

• However, the television coverage also shows crowds behaving. But one tv commentator said the crowds have been “insane” and the loudest he’s heard at the course.

• On the Ulcer Rating Scale, I assess the chance of an ulcer forming at 3 out of 5.